I know what you're thinking – what a cliffhanger!! To refresh, I'm writing an action-drama pilot utilizing all the great writing conventions they employ on these shows. Part one was yesterday. And part two is right now. We're in the Golden Age of TV Drama -- why shouldn't I be a huge part of it?
GUNS & EMO
By Ken Levine
FADE IN: ANNOUNCERPreviously on "Guns & Emo"… SUPER QUICK CUTS TO PAST EPISODES. LIBBYThis wasn't in the brochure. RODNEYI haven't eaten all day. HERBERTLet me pull up the blueprints. LIBBYI speak Turkish. Why? RUSSIAN SNIPERThis room is fine. Does the window open? CRAIGI need some new shirts. Do you think you could get me an employee discount?
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. ASHTIYAN, IRAN – DAY
FINAL SHOT OF PART ONE: LIBBY AT A CAFÉ THROUGH THE VIEWFINDER OF A SNIPER'S RIFLE.
The sniper is just about to squeeze the trigger….
When the WAITER approaches with Libby's coffee. The viewfinder shifts to the waiter and a shot is fired.
BACK TO SCENE
The waiter drops to the ground like a sack of potatoes.
LIBBY What the….?
Libby ducks under the table for cover. Rodney is already there, crouched.
RODNEY Didn't I tell you? This is why you always get a table inside.
LIBBY Hey, gimme a break. I skipped GIA training because they needed someone with my body type to double for a double agent in Dublin. That's always the risk the G.I.A. has sending me into the field on these dangerous assignments but it never seems to stop them from assigning me anyway.
THEIR POV -- HOTEL ACROSS THE WAY
There must be twenty identical windows.
RODNEY (V.O.) Over there! That window.
BACK TO SCENE
LIBBY This is a bad angle.
Awkwardly, Libby fires one shot.
THEIR POV – HOTEL
The sniper falls out of the window and crashes to the ground below.
LIBBY Well, there goes his Hilton Honor points.
RODNEY (breaking into smile) Oh, Libby.
They race to the scene. Fortunately, no one else is interested and people just cross by the body paying it no mind.
Libby and Rodney crouch down and check him out.
LIBBY Herbert? Who is he?
INTERCUT WITH:
INT. G.I.A. COMMAND CENTER – SAME
Monitors show every street from every angle. This town too must have 10,000 cameras in place.
HERBERT'S COMPUTER SCREEN – A satellite view of the planet earth. It zooms right in to the dead sniper's face. One second later this word appear on the screen: MATCH.
BACK TO SCENE
HERBERT His name was Abdolreza Ghazanfari – "Cooter" to his friends. Professional sniper. His services have been used by Al Queda, the Russian Mob, and the California Highway Patrol. The number 34th most wanted terrorist in the world. Up from 57.
LIBBY So why has no one ever take him out?
HERBERT We think he also works for us.
Rodney begins patting him down.
RODNEY No incriminating or classified documents here.
LIBBY Let's check his room. Maybe we can find out who hired him and who his target was.
RODNEY Wouldn't it be funny if it was the waiter?
LIBBY (breaking into a smile) Oh, Rodney.
Libby begins climbing a hedge to begin scaling the wall in her heels. Rodney fishes around the guy's pocket and pulls out his room key.
INT. HOTEL ROOM – MOMENTS LATER
Libby and Rodney are going through the sniper's things. There are photos of his targets, including Libby. There are also files and folders strewn about with the words TOP SECRET on them.
LIBBY What a break that he has Al Queda's plans for the next five years.
RODNEY (showing her a document) Look at this. His boss, the mysterious head of this entire operation, the man we've been unsuccessfully tracking for over three years is planning to meet him here in his room tonight at 10.
LIBBY Then won't he be surprised when he finds us instead of him?
RODNEY Yeah. I'd love to see his face. (realizing) Oh wait, I will see his face.
LIBBY (breaking into a smile) Oh, Rodney. (dialing her cellphone) Hi Craig. Listen, honey, I won't be able to pick the kids up from school today. I'm sorry. Surprise inventory. They do that from time to time… Okay, twice a week. Don't wait up. I'll be in late. Tell Ally I rescued her favorite dress. I sewed on a new sleeve. Love you.
She hangs up and sighs.
RODNEY It's tough when you've got a family.
LIBBY How do you manage this?
RODNEY That's right. We have seven hours. A good chance for us to sit back for a few minutes and reveal personal information about ourselves.
HERBERT Then I'm going on a break.
LIBBY Okay. I'll start I guess. I was abused by my uncle at a family party when I was seven. Whoa! I've never told anyone that before.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. HOTEL ROOM – SEVEN HOURS LATER
LIBBY …So when I hold this gun in my hand, it's like…this is what my husband's penis was supposed to be. Not some little pathetic ladies' derringer. Know what I mean?
RODNEY Yeah, well, it's almost ten.
LIBBY Gee, we didn't get around to talking about you.
RODNEY Next week in Zurich.
There's a knock at the door. They both aim their weapons. A long beat, then:
HERBERT Uh, one of you should answer it.
LIBBY Right.
Libby opens the door. It's SKIP, the man with the laptop in Bogotá is standing there. Libby and Rodney are surprised.
LIBBY You?
SKIP Where's Cooter?
LIBBY Have you ever seen Cooter before?
SKIP No.
Libby invites him in and points to Rodney.
LIBBY This is Cooter.
SKIP No, it's not. It's Rodney. He escorted me back to the U.S. yesterday.
LIBBY Right. Oops.
RODNEY You'd know this if you didn't just split right in the middle of a mission.
HERBERT That is bad form.
SKIP Yeah, where were you?
LIBBY Do you all mind?!
SKIP You can put the gun down.
LIBBY Right. (lowers it, then points it again) Wait a minute. If you're here to see the sniper who was supposed to kill me then you're a bad guy.
RODNEY But the sniper could be one of ours, which means he's on our side.
LIBBY Right. (lowers gun, then points it again at Skip) Hey. But if he was going to kill me and you're on his side then everyone is against me.
HERBERT Or any one of them could be double-agents.
SKIP Remember what I said? You can't trust anybody.
LIBBY You never said that.
HERBERT You said you were frustrated by the lack of trust in this business and he said "Never lose that". It's the same thing.
LIBBY No, it's not.
RODNEY Yes, it is.
LIBBY Hey, you're supposed to back me. You're my partner.
RODNEY (points his gun at her) Yeah, well… about that.
LIBBY What?! You?! You're with them?
SKIP Which still could be us.
Libby is completely confused. Rodney is just about to shoot her when…
A flurry of bullets enter from the window and kills Skip and Rodney instantly. Libby is unharmed.
The gunfire ends. Libby goes to the window.
LIBBY'S POV – the manager from Seattle's Finest stands at the café holding an M-16, waving up at her.
MANAGER No one messes with my help!
LIBBY (breaks into a smile) Oh… Seattle's Finest Manager.
FADE OUT.
THE END
Of my action adventure writing career.